R.I.P. Tweety

Naming her Sylvester would have been a perversion because my cat—no, not the one in the video below (testing, testing)—just killed a real Tweety bird. Unlike the well-known London parakeets or the famous San Francisco parrots, I haven’t seen any tropical-looking birds in my brief time here, so I fear it may have been a pet that escaped. The poor creature obviously did not know not to land anywhere in Boom-Boom’s range—I don’t even know that trees are safe! Lizards, the occasional frog and one snake have so far been her quarry. But after one bird earlier this week + this bright, beautiful little avian, I think it may be time to invest in a bell—I’ll tell Boom Boom that her momma made me do it!

I'm Back . . . Again!

I hope none of you have been holding your breath for the entire time, but I'm back on the airwaves! I've even already posted something for your thought and enjoyment.
And there's more to come.
It's exciting, isn't it-- not that I'm back, just that the world's so eff'd up that there's no shortage of things to write . . .  I mean, BLOG, about.

If I Could Only Get Over There In Front Of You, I’d Say FREEZE (then you’d also know that I have my gun aimed at you)

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So the latest police killing of an unarmed (black) person—this time for a non-functioning tail light—spurred the usual conversation about how utterly ridiculous, not to mention illegal, it is. One aspect of the conversation was the victim’s profile—50 yrs old, dressed normally, BLACK, etc. A side mention was made about how could someone with a gun, who’d just used a taser be worried about someone like that—i.e. it’s not like the victim looked “thuggish” (which still doesn’t wipe away one’s civil rights and liberties—on paper at least).

Then I got to thinking about my personal appearance. My wife will tell you I’m not the fanciest dressed; it’s more like people might toss me spare change if only I had a receptacle held out. But there have been a copule of times where I dressed like a straight up gangsta— loc's ("lokes") (at night), saggin’ pants, lid, and the stroll. The only thing I was missing were the Crip slips and corn rows.

It was Halloween-- actually 2 in a row due to my lack of creativity. Both instances were a) as a Stanford student, b) on Stanford’s campus,  c) at Stanford parties, where d) I didn’t encounter any (university) policepersons. I wonder if the situation would have been any different had I been walking through Palo Alto  (dressed like that) minding my business on a different night, or even on Halloween for that matter.

Fast forward10 years to New Orleans—where I actually had a gun pulled on me by police—where I was working as a Associate attorney at one of the city’s (more formerly than current) hoity-toity law firms. How it happened is a long and sad story of ignorance of the 3 cops who entered my house with a gun drawn. But the question is, in suit pants and a t-shirt (in my own house)—the oppressive NOLA climate compelled me to strip off the top, dress-shirt and tie layer as soon as I got inside—did I look THAT much more threatening than when dressed as a gangsta? Luckily, I didn't happen to walk out of the kitchen to greet said cops while holding a knife-- small or large-- I'd just used to cut a sandwich. Otherwise, I guarantee you I wouldn't be here to write this!

As I (luckily) didn’t encounter any police officers on those Halloweens, I don’t have any incident to compare to my NOLA run in. But suffice it to say that if I looked like a possible thief in my partial suit, who knows what the translation/reaction in their minds would have been were I dressed like a thug? I guess I’m just fortunate it wasn’t in my Stanford Halloween costume when those who serve and protect us busted into my house to serve and protect me from . . . . .myself?? 

More Persecuted Than Thou

Guy #1- Man, I'd take the holocaust over slavery any day. At least you got it over with quick if they made you take a shower!

Guy #2- Hell no, bruv, being a (US) slave was just kinda like camping. And at least you mostly got to live through your entire life.

OK, so maybe it's a stretch, but you get the picture-- what you suffered through is always worse than what everyone else has experienced. It's as if every group wants the prize for having suffered the greatest injustice.

Shall we continue . . . .

Person #3- those gay people can hide their gay-ness, so why are they complaining about inequality. I'll take being gay over (choose an ethnicity) ________ any day! I can't hide my ______-ness!

So I've gotta admit that this is one that I've mostly heard from "African Americans" as to why the concerns of one minority group are not as legitimate as those of another. Huh?! First of all, there's no history of gay oppression (like Slavery). I mean gay people only appeared on the scene afte the whole civil rights struggle, right. They shouldn't be trying to piggyback and share the spoils of what WE fought for. How dare they compare their struggle to ours. I mean there were laws banning who WE could marry; We were discriminated against in the workplace. People even turned a blind eye to someone dragging us off and killing us strictly due to our color. And we didn't CHOOSE to be black! They've never had to endure such civil rights violations stemmiing from the lifestyle they choose-- they all just live happily in San Francisco and run around with those rainbow flags! So like I said, I'll take gay ofer black anytime. They've got it easy!

There are other examples of groups focusing just on those issues that impact them/not understanding  others' plights:

• Trayvon-- given that no one should be stalked and murdered for walking down the street, black folks are (understandibly) SO up in arms on this. But shouldn't "those people" be just as angry when a black person shoots another person from Africa? Or when an african american, or hispanic/latino, or asian, or white purposefully kills someone, regardless of race. I didn't see anyone out marching over the Sikh temple killings! If we have the energy to march and protest for "one of ours," we're just beign complacent when we don't expend such energy fighting for others. Because guess what, if we correct it on one front, the benefit will likely extend to more than those directly involved-- it's called PRECEDENT
• (Perhaps far-fetched, but) a "radical" gay person-- the other minority groups have all of these protections (marriage, employment, housing, etc.). What about us? I'll take being a Vietnamese immigrant any day over being gay. They've got it so much easier
• And those illegal immigrants-- they just come waltzing over the border and use our schools, social services, etc. Coming to the US must just be like some kind of damn holiday for them!

How about we all fight to educate and correct all injustice, including that which we suffer(ed)? As long as we're all waging our separate campaigns, that just keeps us focused on our own little worlds. Injustice anywhere should be addressed, especially by anyone whose group may (or has in the past) be susceptible to an erosion of rights. Let's see, that would be all . . . . women, muslims (well, we've got to have someone to demonize), immigrants, jews, latinos, gays, blacks, etc. Imagine if all these pendejos got on the same page!? But I bet you'll still have women who vote for Akin (I mean those Democrats' values are just all whacky), and black folks who are weary of muslims (guess how many black  muslims there are; now how do you choose?) and poor latinos fighting against poor blacks (I guess that keeps both of those groups preoccupied and not paying any attention to how they BOTH being pissed on!)

The more people who are aware of whatever the injustice, the better. It's just more easy and convenient to focus on our own. Many groups may have legitimate gripes. The one we should all be on board and fighting for is the Native Americans. We victims of whatever past transgression we suffered are all here squatting on their land, granted some of us not by our own choosing. Sarcasm aside, the Native Americans pretty much have us all beat and should qualify as the most persecuted (than thou).

"Fast Shoes"

Is it the shoes?!?

A while back, my then-3-year old (who at the time mostly wore Crocs) got a new pair of sandals. The difference was that the new sandals velcroed across the top. Of course, when he ran with his new, more technologically-advanced footwear, the shoes didn't come flop around or come flying off. This radical development enabled him to run much faster than before. When we were going out the next day, boy requested his "Fast Shoes."

Move over Track shoe! (I wonder if he also jumped higher in the Fast shoes?) I'm off to the Trademark Office just in case.

Legitimate Rape?!

Ummmmmmmmm, I guess that's kinda like . . . .

• Gentle Genocide: you know, before they actually killed the females, they were LEGITIMATELY raped-- so, where's the issue?
• A Happy Holocaust: well, we were having some overpopulation issues, so we thought this might be a good way to help the earth. We just picked those who (fill in blank and choose as many as apply) look like ________/ come from _______/ believe in _______-- you  know, those who are responsible for (fill in a societal problem that this group did not cause) __________, and viola, we've reduced our nation's carbon footprint!
• Kinder, Gentler Slavery: I mean, we let them eat the pig entrails after we were done with the parts a human might actually WANT to eat. Oh, and the reason we sold their children to another "manager" was so that the little ones could gain valuable work experience at an early age, without being distracted by their parents. BTW, that's the same reason we'd punish them if we foound them reading-- simply instilling that good ole' work ethic. We just want to maximize their chances of succeeding in life (as the next generation of slaves). And if you're reading, how on earth are you going to labor at the same time?!
• A Perfectly Understandable Honour Killing (Notice the spelling for my peeps in the UK, b/c this is one where the US actually has one on you.): Sh*#! I mean who would want their daughter to be free to decide how to live her life, or be "Western," leading her to do things like walk alongside a male, or drive, or  . . . . breathe?!

This all begs the question as to what constitutes an Illigitimate Rape??

Fine print- this list not necessarily ranked in order of severity. Translation-- for those who subscribe to the More Persecuted than Thou mindset (don't worry loyal readers, I'll post this one soon and even link it for you), don't get your panties in a wad. Oh wait, the first three are, mas o menos, the same thing; but don't tell that to the various sufferers or their descendants. We need at least one thing to continually disagree over, right?

Winners Don't Do Drugs

Let me get this right . . . . .
Either Michael Phelps is a LOSER, . . . . 
Weed isn't a drug, . . . . orrrrrrr
We all need to hit the bong every now and then in order to activate our inner-overachiever.