More Persecuted Than Thou

Guy #1- Man, I'd take the holocaust over slavery any day. At least you got it over with quick if they made you take a shower!

Guy #2- Hell no, bruv, being a (US) slave was just kinda like camping. And at least you mostly got to live through your entire life.

OK, so maybe it's a stretch, but you get the picture-- what you suffered through is always worse than what everyone else has experienced. It's as if every group wants the prize for having suffered the greatest injustice.

Shall we continue . . . .

Person #3- those gay people can hide their gay-ness, so why are they complaining about inequality. I'll take being gay over (choose an ethnicity) ________ any day! I can't hide my ______-ness!

So I've gotta admit that this is one that I've mostly heard from "African Americans" as to why the concerns of one minority group are not as legitimate as those of another. Huh?! First of all, there's no history of gay oppression (like Slavery). I mean gay people only appeared on the scene afte the whole civil rights struggle, right. They shouldn't be trying to piggyback and share the spoils of what WE fought for. How dare they compare their struggle to ours. I mean there were laws banning who WE could marry; We were discriminated against in the workplace. People even turned a blind eye to someone dragging us off and killing us strictly due to our color. And we didn't CHOOSE to be black! They've never had to endure such civil rights violations stemmiing from the lifestyle they choose-- they all just live happily in San Francisco and run around with those rainbow flags! So like I said, I'll take gay ofer black anytime. They've got it easy!

There are other examples of groups focusing just on those issues that impact them/not understanding  others' plights:

• Trayvon-- given that no one should be stalked and murdered for walking down the street, black folks are (understandibly) SO up in arms on this. But shouldn't "those people" be just as angry when a black person shoots another person from Africa? Or when an african american, or hispanic/latino, or asian, or white purposefully kills someone, regardless of race. I didn't see anyone out marching over the Sikh temple killings! If we have the energy to march and protest for "one of ours," we're just beign complacent when we don't expend such energy fighting for others. Because guess what, if we correct it on one front, the benefit will likely extend to more than those directly involved-- it's called PRECEDENT
• (Perhaps far-fetched, but) a "radical" gay person-- the other minority groups have all of these protections (marriage, employment, housing, etc.). What about us? I'll take being a Vietnamese immigrant any day over being gay. They've got it so much easier
• And those illegal immigrants-- they just come waltzing over the border and use our schools, social services, etc. Coming to the US must just be like some kind of damn holiday for them!

How about we all fight to educate and correct all injustice, including that which we suffer(ed)? As long as we're all waging our separate campaigns, that just keeps us focused on our own little worlds. Injustice anywhere should be addressed, especially by anyone whose group may (or has in the past) be susceptible to an erosion of rights. Let's see, that would be all . . . . women, muslims (well, we've got to have someone to demonize), immigrants, jews, latinos, gays, blacks, etc. Imagine if all these pendejos got on the same page!? But I bet you'll still have women who vote for Akin (I mean those Democrats' values are just all whacky), and black folks who are weary of muslims (guess how many black  muslims there are; now how do you choose?) and poor latinos fighting against poor blacks (I guess that keeps both of those groups preoccupied and not paying any attention to how they BOTH being pissed on!)

The more people who are aware of whatever the injustice, the better. It's just more easy and convenient to focus on our own. Many groups may have legitimate gripes. The one we should all be on board and fighting for is the Native Americans. We victims of whatever past transgression we suffered are all here squatting on their land, granted some of us not by our own choosing. Sarcasm aside, the Native Americans pretty much have us all beat and should qualify as the most persecuted (than thou).

"Fast Shoes"

Is it the shoes?!?

A while back, my then-3-year old (who at the time mostly wore Crocs) got a new pair of sandals. The difference was that the new sandals velcroed across the top. Of course, when he ran with his new, more technologically-advanced footwear, the shoes didn't come flop around or come flying off. This radical development enabled him to run much faster than before. When we were going out the next day, boy requested his "Fast Shoes."

Move over Track shoe! (I wonder if he also jumped higher in the Fast shoes?) I'm off to the Trademark Office just in case.

Legitimate Rape?!

Ummmmmmmmm, I guess that's kinda like . . . .

• Gentle Genocide: you know, before they actually killed the females, they were LEGITIMATELY raped-- so, where's the issue?
• A Happy Holocaust: well, we were having some overpopulation issues, so we thought this might be a good way to help the earth. We just picked those who (fill in blank and choose as many as apply) look like ________/ come from _______/ believe in _______-- you  know, those who are responsible for (fill in a societal problem that this group did not cause) __________, and viola, we've reduced our nation's carbon footprint!
• Kinder, Gentler Slavery: I mean, we let them eat the pig entrails after we were done with the parts a human might actually WANT to eat. Oh, and the reason we sold their children to another "manager" was so that the little ones could gain valuable work experience at an early age, without being distracted by their parents. BTW, that's the same reason we'd punish them if we foound them reading-- simply instilling that good ole' work ethic. We just want to maximize their chances of succeeding in life (as the next generation of slaves). And if you're reading, how on earth are you going to labor at the same time?!
• A Perfectly Understandable Honour Killing (Notice the spelling for my peeps in the UK, b/c this is one where the US actually has one on you.): Sh*#! I mean who would want their daughter to be free to decide how to live her life, or be "Western," leading her to do things like walk alongside a male, or drive, or  . . . . breathe?!

This all begs the question as to what constitutes an Illigitimate Rape??

Fine print- this list not necessarily ranked in order of severity. Translation-- for those who subscribe to the More Persecuted than Thou mindset (don't worry loyal readers, I'll post this one soon and even link it for you), don't get your panties in a wad. Oh wait, the first three are, mas o menos, the same thing; but don't tell that to the various sufferers or their descendants. We need at least one thing to continually disagree over, right?

Winners Don't Do Drugs

Let me get this right . . . . .
Either Michael Phelps is a LOSER, . . . . 
Weed isn't a drug, . . . . orrrrrrr
We all need to hit the bong every now and then in order to activate our inner-overachiever.

Lochte's Grill!

Either Ryan Lochte's ghetto, or Grills aren't! At least Lochte's was a custom job (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2182126/Ryan-Lochtes-Olympic-grill-designed-rapper-Paul-Wall.html?ito=feeds-newsxml). And I didn't know swimmers were PAID like Lochte-- $25,000 per grill?!-- and he's got, like, 4!! Look out sport of swimming, once those little (real) ghetto kids realize you can both a) get paid, and that b) grills are part of the swimming culture, guess who's sgonna dominate that sport!?

Go on Ryan!

Commercialism in . . . Football, Sports, Everything?

Just coming off my SUN morning ritual of watching the SAT, MLS highlights . . . . During the RSL vs. whoever match, there was a cornerkick-- oops!, I mean a "KFC Colonel's Corner Kick"-- whether or  not RSL scored is immaterial here.

Is it just me, or does the "KFCC CK" seem absurd to anyone else? I'm all for a little marketing, especially when it's clever and funny, but a KFC corner kick?! I guess we Americans lead the way with such "innovative" methods, as I have yet to see a "Carlsburg" or "Vodaphone" penalty kick on ITV. Of course, we're spared with the BBC, as it's commercial free; but that's the other exterme. I mean, give me one or two good Superbowl-type commercials. (There are also some very good British ads.) But don't simply overrun my threshold sense of commercialism with marketing every little element of a sporting event.

Looking at the bright side, at least the MLS/KFC contract didn't dictate that it be called the "Kentucky Fried Chicken, Colonel Harlan Sanders, resumption of play after the defending team last touched the ball before it went into touch over said team's endline." That would be a proper way to even further innundate the advertising-starved audience norteamericano.

I guess such marketing has been going on for a while now. I remember such games as the Cotton Bowl, or the [fill in the traditional name] Bowl, initially being relabeled the [fill in corporate sponsor/product] [fill in traditional name] Bowl. Eventually the traditional name was dropped from many of these games, leaving just the [fill in corporate sponsor/product] [delete the traditional name] Bowl format, yielding such interesting tilts as "The Outback Bowl" (not played in Australia, btw), or the Beef "O" Brady's Bowl (is that a menu item, or a sports contest?) or the GODADDY.com Bowl-- wtf?! So it should be no surprise that we've descended even further into pure commercialism with the likes of the KFC Corner Kick or Doritos Halftime.

The million dollar question for KFC or PepsiCo/Frito-Lay's marketing team is how much a, say, $5M sponsorship (and what some may consider over-the-top "relabeling"-- or using a common-noun modifier-- of "Halftime") generates in a) new Doritos sales, and b) repeat purchases, by people who otherwise may not have done so?  Does seeing Michelin Halftime make everyone run out to the nearest Pep Boyz (I hear they're changing the spelling to match kids' perceptions) to get new tires pur on the SUV? There  must be something to it, otherwise the companies wouldn't spend the money they do on such subtle advertising.

The other question is where does it all stop? Or does it? Just imagine the possibilities for enhancing the  Ibrahimovic's goal versus les Bleus with a football fan's desire for a bucket-- the KFC Biscuit (scone for those readers in the UK) is played wide toward the right, KFC Cole Slaw corner flag into the path of KFC Corn on the Cob #7, Sebastian Larsson. Buttery Corn Cob plays teh Biscuit with a brilliant first time, KFC Original Recipe cross back toward the top, center of the KFC Chicken Nugget 18-yard box, where KFC Extra Crispy, #10, Zlatan Ibrahimovic meets the Biscuit with perfectly timed run, adjusting midstride for a beautiful KFC Hot Wings (bone in), side volley into KFC Mashed Potatoes, #1 Lloris' KFC Bucket goal! How could any sports purist not appreciate prose so descriptive that it almost puts you into Row 15 at the final KFC Macaroni & Cheese, Group D match at KFC Euro 2012 in Kyiv's Colonel Sanders Olympic-Stadium?!

US Football-- not tough enough??

RE: Klinsy's call for the US team to be nastier

There's been some talk of coach Jurgen Klinsmann's call for the US team to be "nastier" or play with a littler more bite somtimes. Here's my take . . . .

Remember Jeremies tackle on Reyna right out the gate in WC 1998 (in what I believe must have been one of Klinsmann's only matches vs. the US). I recall it being over the top, but it completely neutralized Reyna, our best and key player, for the rest of the match. With the skill gap, I'm not sure that GER needed to rough us up back then, but it was probably standard practice-- at least in any major competition-- to get into the opponnents' heads. As Cap of that squad JK carries all of that knowledge and experience. Not much changed in our following, 2002 WC. Although we had an incredible tournament and should have beat Germany, we still weren't physical, even in response to physicality-- e.g. Marquez's blatant elbow to C. Jones' head. Someone should have (cleanly) put a crunching tackle in on Marquez-- or any of the other 9 MEX outfield players-- after that, a la J. Jones. In addition to an overall, higher US skill-level compared to the '98 squad, it was ironically, the swagger-- i.e. the "mental" lack of respect (awe or over-respect, that is) for our opponents-- displayed by the likes of the 21'ish LD and DMB that helped take us so deep in '02. However, physicality is a different facet of respect. I think LD's "US DNA" comment is actually pretty fair- i.e. fairness and toughness (but on the receiving end-- e.g. no diving/acting) are somewhat US-cultural. But physicality (on the giving end) is an aspect of the game we need take on/develop. It's no different than any other contact sport-- you've got to be able to "bring it" at the appropriate time and in the appropriate manner.